A Student's Diary

Dare To Dream And Have The Courage To Follow It!!

#20. An Open Letter To The Girl Who Let The Nice Guy Go

I’ve seen it happen way too many times: The nice guy loses the girl for being exactly who he is.

What’s even worse is if he’s really the nice guy, he’s going to lose her and say nothing about it. He’ll accept it as something she truly wants and give her his best wishes, as she walks away being everything he could ever want.

On behalf of all the nice guys out there, this is to the girl who walked out on the best thing that ever happened to her:

Dear Girl Who Walked Away,

It’s not like you weren’t aware of what you were getting yourself into. He told you he was nice. He trusted easily and gave you all he could when he could.

The nice guy believes in doing things right. He was there when you needed him to be, and he went out of his way to make sure you knew just how much you could mean to someone.

We live in a generation where we all have to wear masks and play parts to make it through the battlefield of dating in the 21st century. There is no such thing as giving it your all.

We like quotes on Facebook and post things on Instagram stating we want the masochist one day and the romantic the next. We play these games where being available can only happen sometimes, and playing hard-to-get must be our number one priority. Why?

I thought the ultimate goal was to eventually settle down. I mean, what is the point of dating if you have no desire for it to go anywhere? If a one-night stand is what you’re looking for, leave the good guys alone and toy within the levels you lay down.

Save yourself time and energy because the good guy isn’t going to make it easy to just walk away. The good guy cares, so he’ll get his explanation from you even though he knows it’ll be a load of bull.

Every girl says she likes the assh*le because he’s the challenge — the one she must break, train and force to be more than just a douchebag. Have you ever thought, however, maybe you were the girl in need of learning what it means to actually feel again?

You went through something, like we all do, and because of it you changed. It’s normal and heartbreak happens, but the next assh*le didn’t fix what the first one did; he kept it the same or made it worse. His priority was not you and couldn’t be you. So now you’re bitter and closed off from anything remotely more satisfying than a one-night stand.

I won’t deny that the assh*le is fun or that a good time isn’t promised with him, but when it’s all said and done, is it ever more than just a good time? Probably not.

In fact, the assh*le has a charm about him; it’s the charm you justify your pursuit with. You say, “There’s just something about him.” However, it’s probably the same quality that ended up hurting you in the past.

So you tried to push the nice guy away. When he wouldn’t go away, you pushed harder. Still, he didn’t give up and every time you pushed harder, he pulled you in even more.

He ignored your fears and forced you to grow; he fought for your passions when you were too busy writing them off. He forgot your wants and focused on everything you needed. Then you walked away because he was too nice.

He gave you too much of everything you wanted, and life got too easy. You wanted conflict and hardship as if everything else in life did not promise you an endless journey of just that. This is where you failed.

The nice guy has been hurt, too, he just chose to stay nice. He learned that different people were going to provide him different things in life. The nice guy also chose not to let any of it change who he was.

So, he let you walk away and he called it a day. Everyone always says there are plenty of fish in the sea, and he let you go knowing this, even though it hurt.

What you don’t know is that someone else is out there, and she won’t be as foolish you. When you realize all you really want is the nice guy who cares about you too much, it’s going to be too late. Some other girl will be able to see how great he is, and she won’t waste a minute.

So you lost your Ted Mosby and, I promise, to him you were Robin. The nice guys are there to give you a break, a light to something more than the games we identify our generation with.

He may have loved you too soon and it was too crazy and too much, but guys like Mosby don’t happen every day; they happen never. He got you the blue French horn, and he made you feel love when love was no longer a part of your vocabulary. You were now saying “I love you” again and remembering what it felt like.

He was the guy you were supposed to end up with, who makes everything change. I just wish you’d see it before another girl does because at the end of the day, everyone, including the nice guy you don’t deserve, is rooting only for you.

Sincerely, The Girl Who Was Too Late

Originally posted at  http://elitedaily.com/dating/an-open-letter-to-the-girl-who-let-the-nice-guy-go/589089/?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange


2 comments on “#20. An Open Letter To The Girl Who Let The Nice Guy Go

  1. Tashhuu
    July 12, 2015

    No one wants to let go of the nice guys. As you said in daily world we all wear masks and no one really knows whats beneath. But, seriously if a person would ever really care enough to see the person underneath why would anyone on this earth let that person go. What if she thought he was a nice guy but he really wasn’t. He was not the perfect person not “her” perfect person. He seemed to be really nice but when she got to know her she realized he had flaws too, and dealing with flaws is not a problem, everyone has their own baggage what really matters is whether we are ready to deal with someone’s baggage or not and the worst part where she gave up was when she realized that even the NICE guy dint want to deal with her baggage and always demanded here to shed it off. The reality is you really cannot shed off your baggage it just comes along. No matter what no matter how hard you try it is there always. She just wanted someone who would be willing enough to deal with her baggage and maybe even look inside and make her feel comfortable about it. What really made her let go of the nice guy was when she realized along with the assholes even the nice guy dint want to deal with her baggage. The only difference among them was the assholes dint care enough and the nice guy asked her to drop it. Well the nice guy out there needs to understand even with her baggage she is good enough for him and don’t ask her to change because she cannot and most importantly she should not . EVER.!! Or else, she will let go because she is strong enough to move and wait for the right guy not the “nice” guy as she knows its never too late.

    • Ankit Karwa
      July 12, 2015

      Hi Tashuu.
      Firstly thanks for reading the article.
      It was originally posted somewhere else. I have mentioned the source where I read it. I just reblogged it coz I found it interesting.
      Secondly, I like your baggage theory.
      But it somehow doesn’t seem to fit too well in this case. It seems to me either you or someone close to you have witnessed something related to it and that’s what you are generalising here. Well, I maybe wrong in thinking this, but that’s what comes to my mind.
      There’s a whole lot of stuff that we can talk about masks people wear, so I would prefer not to go into it right now.
      She would know he is the right guy or nice guy if she spends sufficient quality time with him. But she is too obsessed with assholes as they are more charming and fun yo be with.
      The nice guy would be happy to deal with her flaws and accept her as she is. It is probably what she is that made the nice guy loose his heart to her. Trust me it doesn’t happen often to a nice guy to loose that valuable part to somebody. So that’s what says that he is willing to share her part of baggage and to love her flaws, if only she has the intent and time for the nice guy.

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This entry was posted on March 16, 2015 by in reblogged.

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