A Student's Diary

Dare To Dream And Have The Courage To Follow It!!

#35. Comfortably accustomed.

It wasn’t long ago when my life seemed to have stopped in its track. Having graduated, I was looking for a job. And job search had not just swallowed a vast majority of my time every single day, but also my thoughts, my habits and my interests. Everything I did and all my thoughts revolved around this hunt. My life before this hunt as I knew it, had ceased to exist. A new life had taken its place and I was struggling to identify with it as my own. It’s pretty much like that feeling when you move to a new place you didn’t like or thought you didn’t belong.

But, what happens when you spend a long time in that new unfavorable place? You become accustomed to it. You learn to adapt your life to it. And perhaps, at least sometimes, you learn to like it. Is that because we form an attachment to things we spend time with? After all, humans and animals alike have been known to form attachments with even the worst imaginable things and situations.

And that is what happened to me in the process of job search. Job search started as the devil that everybody warns you of. It was a discomfort. It was a problem. However, over time, I became accustomed to my new life. Nothing really had changed. I was still struggling with job search process with no progress at all. If anything, the discomfort had only increased as the time went by without any results and yet, I was getting more and more accustomed to my new life. It’s a strange feeling of comfort in discomfort. Why? I asked. Why this feeling? Probably because the more time you spend in a situation, more you are forced to accept it. Maybe.

As I started becoming accustomed to my new life, I found reasons to like it. Being without a job or school while being thousands of miles away from family, presented with huge amounts of time at my disposal. Now this very fact was frightening in the beginning and though most of this time eventually was consumed by the hunting process, I still found reasons and will power to indulge in other things. Like pursuing hobbies,amongst other things, that had taken the cut earlier due to lack of time.And it felt like liberation, like breaking the shackles and getting lost in another world, a better world, during that short time of indulgence during the day.

Ironically, the weird feeling of comfort in discomfort reached its culmination when the source of discomfort was eventually dismissed; when I got the job. The struggle had reached its end. The journey was complete and destination reached. The feeling of happiness and joy had filled me up but what felt strange was they had left some space for the sadness of leaving this life behind. The very life which I thought was a devil, a problem. The sadness of not being able to pursue my hobbies and other endeavors which gave me happiness during my struggle. Life felt strange. First, rays of happiness appeared within the darkness and later dark clouds of sadness showed traces in the warm blue sky of  happiness.

It didn’t take long for the summer of happiness to mix with the cold winds of impending nervousness of moving alone to a completely new place for the job and starting the process of leading a life all over again. The life before job hunt, which had ceased to exist, didn’t return after all. A new life had taken its place during the job search and another one will soon be replacing it now that the search is complete.

It might have provided some solace to know this earlier. This cycle continues. Most problems in life are similar. Not matter how big a problem is or how difficult a time is, I have learned, we eventually get used to it. Most of the times we solve the problem and move on the next one. But even if we don’t solve it, we soon become accustomed to it, derive a feeling of comfort even in the discomfort and then move on to next source of discomfort.

On the flip side, being aware of this also helps me to make a conscious effort to not become comfortable in the discomfort. Well, I agree that sounds insane. But that’s what it is, for me. Why? Simple example, have you heard of a poor’s resistance or lack of effort to change his financial situation? The poor becomes accustomed to being poor, rich gets accustomed to being rich. Getting accustomed to depression to a level that the state of being depressed feels comfortable would be a terrible thing without any doubt. Had I become comfortable enough in being without a job, I would most likely not have ended up with a job.


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This entry was posted on October 28, 2016 by in inspiration, Life, Life in US, my voice and tagged , , , , .

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